Well here it goes… My first blog. I never pictured myself as a blogger or really wanted to put all my business out there, but it’s time.

For almost two years we have experienced secondary unexplained infertility. After numerous doctor visits, tests, a (painful) procedure, months of fertility medications and injections, and still no baby… It hurts. There’s no explanation other than timing. They keep saying it will happen when it’s suppose to. Ok. That doesn’t make it easier for anyone.. I found myself sad, angry at girls who were pregnant for the 3rd or 4th time, giving up on myself (hello extra LBs), and doubting my faith. I don’t think anyone really understood how I was feeling except for Jared and my mom.. God bless them. How can a healthy couple who already had a baby (surprisingly and easy) experience this?! It didn’t seem fair.

One day last year I woke up to learn that another month of medicine and scheduling didn’t work. Right then I threw in the towel. I cried all day long. After weeks of praying and talking to Jared, we decided to look into other options.. More fertility treatment didn’t seem realistic for us.. The money and pain with no guarantee of a baby would have ripped me to pieces. Adoption was always in our “plan” and we had figured we would pursue it in about 10 years… Until we started browsing the web. I looked into numerous agencies in Oklahoma and outside of Oklahoma. I immediately felt a connection with one right here in the Tulsa area. We knew it was time to apply when we read that you had to meet these 3 very specific requirements for your application to be approved and we met all three of them. It was a sign.

Within a month we were approved by the agency and advised to get our home study started. We waited until after the holidays so we could tell our families and save a little more money. Unfortunately, adoption is expensive and the agency we are going through is actually one of the “cheaper” ones because they are a non-profit organization.  We have had so many people pour out their love to us and i don’t think we will ever be able to thank you enough. We’ve also had others ask us why we would spend that much money or why don’t we go through the free system to “get a baby”. Those comments are a punch to the gut. After two years of no luck and a dream to have a big family, money isn’t the issue. Jared and I have done our research and prayed about it. We know this is right for us. We know it’s a big dollar amount, but the end result will be worth every dime. I’m a worrier and I’m not worried about this one bit. I just have to cook more and avoid target. I can do it.

Now, we keep saving money and praying that our home study will be complete within the next month and that a birth momma finds us as a perfect fit for her baby. Please keep the thoughts and prayers coming… You guys are amazing and I’m so grateful we aren’t alone on this journey.

Oh and if you purchase a shirt through our t-shirt fundraiser be sure to pick my design! Getting Jared in a dunk tank and having the honors of dunking him would be a check on my bucket list 😉

Until next time….